Fantasy Lapides Ranks SEC Coaches

Being down at SEC Media Days, everybody's talking about and predicting how well their teams will do. As the originator of sports-talk radio in Memphis, I naturally found a different angle to cover this event.

Instead of ranking coaches on their coaching ability (which all hack reporters or colunmists do), I'm ranking them on a combination of golf ability, personality, and taste in food. I call it the Fantasy George index.

Top Tier: These fellows are terrific. High marks across all categories.

• Steve Spurrier: No contest. The old ball coach is the best.
• Houston Nutt: He's a pisser.
• Mark Richt: A good guy. You can trust his restaurant recommendations.
• Rich Brooks: A better golfer than you'd expect. And he knows everybody.
• Tommy Tuberville: HONORARY - Tommy, you'll be missed.

2nd Tier: Generally good, but some flaw keeps them out of the top group. 

• Urban Meyer: Good golfer, but not much fun to be around.
• Gene Chizik: Terrible golfer.
• Bobby Johnson: Great story teller, but terrible taste in food.

Bottom Tier: Major problems. Frankly, I don't want to be around any of them for more than 5 minutes. 

• Bobby Petrino: Jerk.
• Dan Mullen: Bad golfer and terribly boring.
• Les Miles: Unbearible.
• Nick Saban: All the bad stuff you've read is true. None of the good stuff is.
• Lane Kiffin: Terrible in every way. California must have done it to him because I know Monte raised him right.

There you have it folks.

Fantasy Lapides shares his dream Jeopardy board

Many are the perks of being the originator of sports talk in Memphis and the host of the longest running sports talk show in America. Among the best is having the day wide open after the show ends at 9am.

My post-show day pretty much revolves around being home at 3:30 to watch Jeopardy! on Newschannel 3. As you might suspect (from my prowess on Trivia Thursdays) I'm pretty darn good at playing. 

After all these years of playing along, I've come up with my "dream board". If I were ever a contestant and these categories came up, I'd frankly be unstoppable.

1. St. Louis Cardinals
2. SEC Football
3. Memphis Tiger Basketball
4. Restaurants/Places to Eat
5. Directions/Fastest ways to travel
6. Potent Potables

It's obvious that these are not the only areas of my expertise. So I'd likely ace other categories too. In the interest of fairness, I've instituted a self-imposed ban on actually being a Jeopardy contestant and will continue to play along in front of the T.V.

Coach O

For the record, Coach Ogeron (the new Rebel head coach) has a bad case of potty mouth. Come on, coach. Clean up the language.

Tigers crush Vandy; St. Joe's next in NYC

The Tigers really put a whoopin' on Vandy, beating them by 13. Don't let the scrore fool you—it wasn't even close. Now they're headed to New York for the NIT final four. With two more wins, they'll stand alone as NIT champion - the 66th best team in the country. The next game is March 29, I'll post my restaurant recommendations for NYC in a day or two.

Bama, LSU fall flat. Weak showing for SEC.

Surely, we all expected the SEC teams to fair poorly in the tournament. But to get knocked out of the first round? Their early exit makes the entire conference look bad, and by extension makes the entire South look bad. As a Southerner, that really hacks me off.