Fantasy Lapides comments on the ASA's list of Top 50 Broadcasters

One of my listeners sent me a link the American Sportscasters Association's list of Top 50 sportscasters. I reviewed it and I've got to tell you, this list is horrendous. Besides the fact that I was not asked to contribute, here are 3 reasons why you can safely dismiss this list:

#10 Dick Emberg - this hack? you've got to be kidding me. 

#35 Chris Berman - seriously? he's a moron.

#39 Bill Walton - I'm speechless.

Furthermore, a list of great sportscasters that omits John Ward is worthless. Now, we  all agree that the Tennessee Vols are just about the most obnoxious college program around, but we can't deny John Ward's greatness.

Jarvo

I ate dinner at Huey's on Poplar tonight (had the new Madison burger; it's pretty good, but too much bun if you ask me) and ran into Jarvis Greer. I've known Jarvo since is days as a wide receiver for the tigers.

When Big Jack Eaton retired, Jarvo thought he was at the top of the local sports totem pole. Well, the day I took over the sports beat at News Channel 3, I paid Jarvo a visit to let me know it was time for him to return to the back seat. Naturally, he wasn't happy about it. So in the interest of fairness, I issued him a challenge: whoever eats the most Krystal hamburgers in one hour earns the title of "dean of Memphis sports."

He accepted, so we immediately drove over to the Krystal on Union (not that one on Poplar near East High School — which is god-awful). I stood in line ahead of Jarvo and ordered fifteen Krystals (I thought that was a good number to mess with his head). As I waited for my food, Jarvo placed his order: twenty Krystals with cheese. As soon as I heard him say the word cheese, I knew the title was in the bag. He'd be lucky to get down ten of those cheese Krystals before puking.

We got our food, sat down and started to eat. I had twelve in me when I noticed a look of severe pain on Jarvo's face. He'd eaten nine, but the cheese was taking a toll. I was on my fourteenth when he threw in the napkin, two bites into his eleventh and clutching his stomach in pain. To his credit, he was quite gracious in defeat. I heard he spent ten straight hours on the toilet afterwards.

Hiatus over. "Blog" resumes.

After retiring from News Channel 3, I took an unannounced blog break to devote all my attention to the expanded Sportstime. The second hour Sportstime is brought to you by our title and presenting sponsor, FedEx. With Geoff Calkins pretty well trained and the radio show running smoothly, I'm back to blog my thoughts and insights.