Wednesday, September 30, 2009

The Best of Memphis According to Fantasy Lapides

It’s come to my attention that the Memphis Flyer published its annual“Best of Memphis” reader poll. Like all polls, the last thing you want to do is to let the public contribute. So as I do with college football polls and other rankings, I’ll give you my list which naturally is much more accurate than anything else out there, frankly.

Best Chef: (3 way tie) Ronnie Grisanti, Judd Grisanti, Alex Grisanti
Best Lunch: (3 way tie) Mr. B’s, Germantown Commissary, Mortimers
Best Breakfast: The Cupboard
Best Steak: Mr. Bs
Best Chopped Steak: Mr. B’s
Best Crawfish Étouffée: Mr. Bs
Best Lamb Chops: Mr. B’s
Best BBQ: Germantown Commissary
Best Brunswick Stew: Germantown Commissary
Best Burger: Already covered previously
Best Fried Chicken: Gus’s (you can't deny that it’s some kind of good)
Best Dinner Spot on Houston Levee Road: Jim’s Place Grill
Best Restaurant Where You Don’t Have to Shout to Have a Conversation: Paulette’s
Best Hotel: (2 way tie) Hilton, River Inn of Harbortown
Best Bank: Bank of Bartlett (Honorable Mention goes to the Land Bank of North Mississippi)
Best Insurance Agent: Zootie Loosier
Best Meat Packer: Fineburg Packing Company
Best Dry Cleaner: Bensinger’s (11 locations, but I prefer Poplar near White Station)
Best Dairy: Turner Dairy
Best Candy: Dinstuhl’s (Laurelwood location is best)
Best Clothing Store: Oak Hall (Honorable Mention goes to Vineyard Vines by Oak Hall)
Best Golf Shop: Edwin Watt’s Golf
Best Outdoors Store (for hunting and fishing, etc.): Tommy Bronson
Best Shipping Company: FedEx
Best Ford Dealer: Landers Ford Lincoln Mercury
Best Place for a Haircut or a Massage or a Facial: Gould’s
Best Diamond Merchant and Swiss Watch Selection: Doron’s Diamond Merchant
Best Baseball Team: St. Louis Cardinals
Best Local Sports Team: Memphis Tigers (basketball only)
Best Longest Running Sports Talk Show in America: Sportstime with George Lapides
Best Potential Successor to Boat Woloshin as Sports Time Co-Host: Greg Gaston (the kid’s got potential)

UPDATE FROM FANTASY LAPIDES
Some readers pointed out a couple of oversights on my part, so here are a few late additions.

Best Airport Parking Facility: Park It Here (did you know they offer valet service?)
Best Frozen Fruit Salad: Mortimer's
Best Moussaka: Jim's Place Grill
Best Company to Make Your Backyard Look Fabulous: Pettit's Lawnscapes
Best Company to Call When Your A/C or Heat is on the Fritz: Climate Zone
Best Place for Coffee and Interesting Gifts and Whatnot: Crema Coffee

7 comments:

Bruce VanWyngarden said...

This is much better than ours, frankly.

lwhurt said...

giggle

JT Dobbs said...

Next year, I hope you'll consider adding Best Airport Parking Facility.

Frankly, I'm at a loss to explain how you could overlook this fabulous category.

DRGM said...

Frankly, these awards, other than the restaurant and Oak Hall-winning awards, seem questionable. Where is the "best commercial rental space available on Shady Grove where Harris Shelton Hanover Walsh have recently decided to move the office of my wife" award? Any public award program that does not recognize this obvious achievement is, quite frankly, preposterous.

PeskyFly said...

Frankly, I nearly named @fantasylapides tweet about the mayoral election as Best Tweet in Fly on the Wall but then decided there was no point in upsetting the folks at James Davis just for laughs. As much as I love @fakemongo, that was the one.

Anonymous said...

Frankly, I can't believe you forgot to name the best Physiotherapists in Memphis, Physiotherapy Associates Inc.

Anonymous said...
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