Jarvo

I ate dinner at Huey's on Poplar tonight (had the new Madison burger; it's pretty good, but too much bun if you ask me) and ran into Jarvis Greer. I've known Jarvo since is days as a wide receiver for the tigers.

When Big Jack Eaton retired, Jarvo thought he was at the top of the local sports totem pole. Well, the day I took over the sports beat at News Channel 3, I paid Jarvo a visit to let me know it was time for him to return to the back seat. Naturally, he wasn't happy about it. So in the interest of fairness, I issued him a challenge: whoever eats the most Krystal hamburgers in one hour earns the title of "dean of Memphis sports."

He accepted, so we immediately drove over to the Krystal on Union (not that one on Poplar near East High School — which is god-awful). I stood in line ahead of Jarvo and ordered fifteen Krystals (I thought that was a good number to mess with his head). As I waited for my food, Jarvo placed his order: twenty Krystals with cheese. As soon as I heard him say the word cheese, I knew the title was in the bag. He'd be lucky to get down ten of those cheese Krystals before puking.

We got our food, sat down and started to eat. I had twelve in me when I noticed a look of severe pain on Jarvo's face. He'd eaten nine, but the cheese was taking a toll. I was on my fourteenth when he threw in the napkin, two bites into his eleventh and clutching his stomach in pain. To his credit, he was quite gracious in defeat. I heard he spent ten straight hours on the toilet afterwards.

Coach O

For the record, Coach Ogeron (the new Rebel head coach) has a bad case of potty mouth. Come on, coach. Clean up the language.

Bow Ties

I'm considering a move to bow ties. I think they would reflect my unique personality better than a regular necktie. Don't get me wrong — I've got nothing against neckties. But even the best neck tie only says "George!" Where a bow tie says "GEORGE!!!"

Readers, what do you think?

Advise for Tom

If I was the father of Tom Cruise, I'd sit him down for a talk to tell him that he's acting like a damn fool (pardon my french). I'd also tell him it's OK to be gay and to stop pretending to be otherwise. Besides, it's no secret — eveyone already knows. Finally, I'd tell him to leave that poor Katie Holmes alone; those staged public displays of affection make people feel some kind of uncomfortable.

Star Wars

All this hoopla about Star Wars is darn silly. How any adult could care about yodas and wookies and jedis is beyond me.

Off-centered

Why does Dontrelle Willis wear his cap off to the side? It looks uncomfortable and, frankly, unprofessional.

Big hitters

In the 13 innings between the start of Saturday's Sox-Yanks game and the end of the fourth inning of Sunday's game, the 2-3-4 combo platter of Edgar Renteria, Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz batted .900 (18-for-20). That's some kind of hitting.

Derby Results and Commentary

Final results from the Kentucky Derby:

1. Giacomo
2. Closing Argument
3. Afleet Alex
4. Don't Get Mad
5. Buzzards Bay
6. Wilko
7. Bellamy Road
8. Andromeda's Hero
9. Flower Alley
10. High Fly
11. Greeley's Galaxy
12. Coin Silver
13. Greater Good
14. Noble Causeway
15. Sun King
16. Spanish Chestnut
17. Sort It Out
18. Going Wild
19. Bandini
20. High Limit

Giacomo returned $45 for a place bet and $19.80 to show. Closing Argument paid $70 and $24.80. Afleet Alex paid $4.60.

An exacta paid $9,800-plus. Those don't happen much, but that became the payoff for a $2 wager picking the top two finishers in order. The trifecta paid $133,000.

Needless to say, I didn't collect a big payout. My horse, Bandini, was shipped to the glue factory immediately after the race.

Goodbye Bonzi

It's obvious that Bonzi Wells won't be back with the Grizzlies next season. You can take a player out of Portland, but you can't take the "jailblazer" out of the player.

Conclave Begins

Among the front runners to be elected Pope are Jean-Marie Lustiger (5/1), Joseph Ratzinger (11/2) and Cardinal Oscar Rodriguez Maradiaga (15.6/1). But I've got a real long shot for you: The Bishop of Hong Kong Joseph Zen Ze-kiun. If he wins, remember you heard it here first. I'll ask Greg Roberts to update the odds when he's on the show this Friday.

Grizzlies make playoffs.

The Grizzlies may stink to high heaven, but they're in the playoffs thanks to a loss by the Timberwolves. Looks like they'll play Phoenix in the first round (1-3 record against the Suns this year).

Water tasting

As a service to the listeners of Sports Time yesterday, Geoff and I conducted a water taste test. We tested Ozarka, Evian, Aquafina, Dasani and good ole Memphis tap water. The Dasani was colder, but that doesn't matter, it's all the same. Take it from me, stick with the tap.

T-Wolves Win. Grizzlies Don't.

Magic number still 1.

Rain soaks Augusta. Pudding satisfies George.

All the rain at the Masters has really thrown a monkey in my wrench. I planned to spend the entire day following the leaderboard. But with the round postponed, I went to plan B: Lunch at the Germantown Commissary. Normally, I eat a slab of ribs and potato salad. But today I was feeling frisky and decided to get a quart of banana pudding. Believe me, nobody makes pudding like the commissary. Smooth. Creamy. Fruity. Sweet, but not too sweet. Perfection by the spoonful.

Houston's: really good place for lunch or dinner

I really enjoy Houston's restaurant. For years, I've asked them to become a sponsor of Sports Time (trading on-air endorsements for meals), but they're just not interested. It doesn't matter though, I keep going - sometimes several times a week. Of the hundreds of meals I've eaten there, I can't think of a single thing that wasn't delicious. Even the chicken is good, and I don't care much for chicken. Be sure to get the tortilla soup. Trust me, it's some kind of good.

2005 Baseball Predictions

NL Division winners
NL East: Mets
NL Central: Cardinals
NL West: Dodgers
NL Wildcard: Braves

AL Division winners
AL East: Yankees
AL Central: Twins
AL West: A's
AL Wildcard: Mariners

Playoffs
NLCS: Cardinals over Dodgers (5 games)
ALCS: Twins over Yankees (7 games)

World Series: Cardinals over Twins (6 games)

NIT atmosphere beats regular season

All those gimmicks during the regular season Tiger games really hack me off. So much time is devoted to "Dancing for your dinner", etc. that it takes the crowd right out of the game. At the NIT games, none of that nonsense is going on. Instead, we get the band, the cheerleaders, the students, and it really makes for a teriffic college basketball environment. Believe me, I've talked to RC Johnson about this on many occasions. I think these NIT games will help him see the light. It never should have taken him this long to realize that I'm never wrong.

Tigers crush Vandy; St. Joe's next in NYC

The Tigers really put a whoopin' on Vandy, beating them by 13. Don't let the scrore fool you—it wasn't even close. Now they're headed to New York for the NIT final four. With two more wins, they'll stand alone as NIT champion - the 66th best team in the country. The next game is March 29, I'll post my restaurant recommendations for NYC in a day or two.

Tigers favored by 6.5 over Vandy

NIT match tonight at FedExForum. Late tip-off – 9:00 PM. Might be good for TV ratings, but it's bad for my sleep.

Bama, LSU fall flat. Weak showing for SEC.

Surely, we all expected the SEC teams to fair poorly in the tournament. But to get knocked out of the first round? Their early exit makes the entire conference look bad, and by extension makes the entire South look bad. As a Southerner, that really hacks me off.

This one's a howler.

Two golfers just came back to the club house for a drink. They overheard two Irish men talking,"I used to live in Dublin too," said one. "I moved here when I was 10 too," said the other. "My last name is O'Leary too." The two golfers that had heard asked a man walking by, "Who are these guys?" The man said, "Oh! That's the O'Leary twins, there just drunk."

Hiatus over. "Blog" resumes.

After retiring from News Channel 3, I took an unannounced blog break to devote all my attention to the expanded Sportstime. The second hour Sportstime is brought to you by our title and presenting sponsor, FedEx. With Geoff Calkins pretty well trained and the radio show running smoothly, I'm back to blog my thoughts and insights.