Fantasy Lapides Ranks SEC Coaches

Being down at SEC Media Days, everybody's talking about and predicting how well their teams will do. As the originator of sports-talk radio in Memphis, I naturally found a different angle to cover this event.

Instead of ranking coaches on their coaching ability (which all hack reporters or colunmists do), I'm ranking them on a combination of golf ability, personality, and taste in food. I call it the Fantasy George index.

Top Tier: These fellows are terrific. High marks across all categories.

• Steve Spurrier: No contest. The old ball coach is the best.
• Houston Nutt: He's a pisser.
• Mark Richt: A good guy. You can trust his restaurant recommendations.
• Rich Brooks: A better golfer than you'd expect. And he knows everybody.
• Tommy Tuberville: HONORARY - Tommy, you'll be missed.

2nd Tier: Generally good, but some flaw keeps them out of the top group. 

• Urban Meyer: Good golfer, but not much fun to be around.
• Gene Chizik: Terrible golfer.
• Bobby Johnson: Great story teller, but terrible taste in food.

Bottom Tier: Major problems. Frankly, I don't want to be around any of them for more than 5 minutes. 

• Bobby Petrino: Jerk.
• Dan Mullen: Bad golfer and terribly boring.
• Les Miles: Unbearible.
• Nick Saban: All the bad stuff you've read is true. None of the good stuff is.
• Lane Kiffin: Terrible in every way. California must have done it to him because I know Monte raised him right.

There you have it folks.

Fantasy Lapides reveals top ways to drive from East Memphis to Downtown

Between driving to sports events, to interviews, and to visit my sponsors, I've driven a lot of miles in Memphis. And I really know how to get around this place. Today I'll highlight some of the best ways to get from East Memphis to Downtown.

Best route overall: Walnut Grove to Perkins to Sam Cooper to E. Parkway to N. Parkway to 3rd Street.

2nd Best route overall: Park to Goodlett to Central to Cooper to Peabody to Linden to 2nd Street.

Best route 9am-4pm: Park to Goodlett to Poplar to Union to 2nd Street (avoid during rush hour).

Best route through Orange Mound: Park to Lamar to Linden to 2nd Street.

Best route between 8pm-6am: Walnut Grove to Poplar to 3rd Street.

Best Interstate Route: I-40 Westbound, exit on 2nd/3rd St.

Streets to avoid at all times: Madison, Highland between Central and Park, Summer.

I also have directions and best routes for all sorts of places outside Memphis such as Brownsville, Birmingham, St. Louis, etc. I'll post those later.